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avatar spacemouse21 16 day.ago

What happened when the carpenter accidentally sawed off his left hand?

The doctor said he would be all right.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. A first time stand-up comic tells great jokes...

Turns out there a moderator on Reddit and they just erase the good jokes people submitted.

2. How do you curcumcise a whale?

Four skin divers.

3. Bill Rizer and his fellow musicians were not allowed on the plane.

The airline did not allow Contra band.

4. Vegans can't have coffee that doesn't have caffeine

Decaf comes from de cow.

5. Even though it’s a lucrative profession, don’t force your child to become a chopper pilot.

You don’t wanna be a helicopter parent.

6. In 3026 years from now, the world will be either really good or really bad.

It'll be 5050

7. I made an appointment with a therapist for depression but she turned out to be a physicist.

She wanted to talk about gravity the whole time but I told her I just couldn't - it always brings me down.

8. There’s no longer anyway to find out who prank called Sheduer Sanders during his NFL draft party.

The phone number that they called from is now retired.

9. A lawyer sold his well to an old man

Two days later, the lawyer came to the old man and said, "Sir, I sold you the well, but it's not with the water inside! If you want to use the water, you will have to pay extra." The old man smiled and replied, "Yes, I was about to come to you. I was going to say that you should take your water from my well, or else you will have to start paying rent from tomorrow."

10. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him...🕷️

....Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer. 🕸️

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